Depression and The Small Yorkie That Saved Me
Here I am with a new beginning and a new year. I made only one resolution in 2014—that is to phone people, to call friends, to learn to talk again and let them know I care. I was away, but now I’m back thanks to the small Yorkie that saved me.
What do I mean, “I’m back?” Did I go somewhere? Well, no, not exactly. For me personally, the year 2013 was particularly difficult. It started out promising with a ‘Hey, let’s start over!’ After that, it felt like I had a target on my back.
Let me say now that February was already my least favorite month. Five years ago, I determined that I would not travel during February EVER again due to my vacation to Naples, Florida and catching the Whooping Cough. I was down for the count all through March that year because of it. After that incident, it seemed like February was my worst month.
This past February, my daughter was in a mishap. At the emergency clinic, I made the mistake of picking some of magazines in the waiting room and flipping through them. In case no one ever told you, magazines in a doctor’s office are big germ carriers. I caught the flu. What I didn’t realize was that I was already severely anemic, and the flu lasted for weeks, followed by weeks of bronchitis all throughout March. Now, I am not blaming the month of March, but February sucks!
The anemia took over my life. Suddenly I could barely move from chair to chair followed by a strange sickness that was engulfing me–depression.
March brought the one bright spot in all this: a Yorkshire terrier puppy that I named Paisley Promise. Paisley decided that she was going to be my constant companion. The more depressed I became, the more she demanded my attention. She wanted me to hold her and she wanted me to play with her. My family realized the only time I laughed was over Paisley’s antics, and I realized that hearing my own laughter sounded strange to me. My husband even tells people that my Yorkie saved me. Paisley kept the depression from totally engulfing me.
Now I happen to know people who suffered with depression and I, like many others, couldn’t understand why they just could not shake it off. I couldn’t understand why they were sad. Now I know. My whole outlook became dark. I wondered why I was even bothering sticking around in this world, because everything became hard. I did not care if I had friends and even then, I had nothing good to say if I did want to talk to them. Worst of all, I had no idea what was going on!
It wasn’t until the beginning of October that with medicine all the sickness left, I started to re-enter the world of the living. I started to care again. I started to care about my family, I started to care about my hobbies, I started to care about my business, and I started to care about life.
Now I had many pieces to pick up—many things to fix and many things to do. It really snowballs when you are the only one doing it.
By October and November, my life was once again filled with clients and projects and family and life and my precious Yorkie – Paisley.
I learned that people still cared even when I didn’t. I learned that you just can’t ignore everything or anything will drag you down, and I learned that even having a little thing, or even a little puppy, to focus on, would give me a purpose.
In the first fifteen days of this new year, I reconnected with at least five friends, and had wonderful and meaningful lunches and dinners with them. I told them my story and I learned to listen to their tales. I want to make sure I give time to listen because I never know who else might be dealing with depression.